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i< 3Sandy: Sandyyyyyyyyyy! I Love you! L-U-V LOVE U!

appleaday: We know, sugarcube! And I reckon Sandy would be a might happy to hear that, whoever that might be. Now why don’t ’cha go an tell the recipes all about it for a spell and leave us fictions to our boring non-Sandy related talk.

i< 3Sandy: Sandy! Hey Sandy! Guess what? iloveyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

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JohnHWatsonMD: I say! That little file has a bit of a one track mind.

DrMe: I think its splendid! Absolutely brilliant! A pure thought, a pure feeling! An joyous exclamation of love, surviving against all odds the erasure of a segment of time itself!… Speaking of the erasure of the present, I’m grateful for a moment’s peace to think of a game plan of what to do about it. Updates everyone! Has anyone found any more refugee data from our time?

JohnHWatsonMD: Just the nonsensical recipes, the electronics reference book, and Sandy’s beloved. I haven’t found any sign of Holmes or any other fictions.

DrMe: Now, now doctor. We have no ideas about Sandy’s feelings. Don’t make assumptions! This could be an unrequited romance! And try not to fret about your friend. He’s a strong a fiction as I’ve ever seen! He defied authorial intent to forcibly have himself brought back from the dead! If anyone could escape the complete destruction of the universe, its him… Anyway, what about getting help from book spirits native to this time?

JohnHWatsonMD: I liked the part where you admonished me and then reassured me. Am I developing a pattern to the people I associate with? But, no please do continue about temporally local book spirits. You two have my full attention.

appleaday: Sarcasm much, Doc? Well, I’ll tell you uh… other Doc, they are timid little fellers, no doubt! Spendin’ all their time trying to look as much not like a tech spirit as they can. Nature Spirits haven’t quite figured them out yet, and the book spirits want to keep it that way by turnin’ tail and hidein’. I recon’ book spirits didn’t get bold until the information revolution, but that ain’t happened yet.

JohnHWatsonMD: Well, the Net is going to be terribly useful for Librarians with our vast knowledge of medicine, apples, and magic science.

appleaday: Hey, apples are cool!

DrMe: And so is magic science! Let’s not get snippy! We’ll find more data, we’ve got to. Anyway, about the librarians, we found the Junior Librarian, is there any sign of ArchLibrarian Leibowitz yet?

appleaday: Nopony has heard anything yet, but Teddie’s still on the case. He’ll keep nosing around reality for his ArchLibrarianship. Boy howdy, I wonder how that little fella pulls that off.

DrMe: I guess he’s just a special bear! Ok, now back to searching!

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appleaday: Ok, look cupcake. You ain’t no little lost recipe. I think I know you. You are a Fiction, just a fragment, but still a fiction. And I reckon these other little critters are the same. So I further reckon, y’all can tell me a bit more about what’s going on with this whole mess. I think y’all can..uh..think!

CheapCheapCheap: Every single day/ fear comes in every way./ Reckoners ain’t got no time for nobody./ Their style is rich, dope, phat in which,/ They eat the Fear cause’ it tastes delish!

cupcake: All you have to do is take a cup of monster, Add it to the mix. Now just take a little something horrid, not nice, a bit of cruelty, just a pinch. Making these feelings is such a cinch, add a teaspoon of hate, add a little more, and you count to four and you never get your fill of fear, so evil and awful. Fear, not a waffle. Fear, fear, fear, fear.

so_delicious_and_moist: To double fear output of reality: divide into two equal parts. Separate parts with barrier powered by bound soul; monitor carefully. Cover with warm dishtowel and leave in humid place. Be certain to properly feed the separated parts with fish shaped nutrition. Failure to do so may result in the collapse of reality pockets.

CheapCheapCheap: The Chicken in the kitchen is making not a sound/ Heard their plan while we were sitting around.

cupcake: Watch how the matter turns to batter, open the portal, jump in!

so_delicious_and_moist: To communicate with humans of this timeframe: Find a receptive brain. Inject with fish shaped warnings, fish shaped pleas for help, fish shaped hopes fish shaped dreams. Be certain to communicate clearly. Failure to do so may result in confusion and possible consumption by others.

CheapCheapCheap: We failed him here/ We failed him there/ Now it seems he’s not anywhere.

appleaday: I…I…Did I learn something? I’m not really sure. Does this really mean anything. This is about all a pony can take in one day, I’ll talk to you little guys more about it later.

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CheapCheapCheap: Ok, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

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JohnHWatsonMD: So, tell me Doctor: What is your story?

DrMe: Oh! It’s a very long and exciting story. You see I’m actually from the planet of Gal-

JohnHWatsonMD: No, I don’t mean the Fiction you are manifesting as. Your real story. From the physical plane.

DrMe: Oh. That. Well that’s not quite as exciting. I was a box set. Series 5. Oh, of the revival show. Not the original, that really is a big difference you see. Anyway, I was a circulating library copy. It was fun, I got to travel a lot, but you wouldn’t believe how scratched up one gets. Eventually, I ended up in the book sale after a few years of service. I was watched a few times after that, and then met my end in an unfortunate apartment moving accident. See, hardly exciting at all! Yourself?

JohnHWatsonMD: A paperback for required college reading. I went through the used book cycle several times, picked up some atrociously overdone highlighting, and eventually fell apart from overuse.

DrMe: I pegged you for an educated spirit! Applejack?

appleaday: Well, I was just a humble little coloring book. Little girl used to color all outside the lines on me. Strange color choices too! But I didn’t mind a bit, no sir! Wrote her little name on the pages too: Sally.

i< 3Sandy: SANDY!?

appleaday: Tarnation, no! Sally! SALLY! Not everything is about your Sandy! Anyway, eventually I got packed off to the basement and got all soggy in a flood. And here I am!

DrMe: What a depressing turn our conversation has taken!

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DrMe: Ah here’s the bear that will brighten our day! Let’s have a little comic relief!

TotallyNotABearSpirit: Hey guys! Guess who I found?

i< 3Sandy: SANDY!?

TotallyNotABearSpirit: Not close at all! It’s another book spirit! A Fiction! And it says its from your story series Doctor! Uh, and by that I mean the weird Doctor, not the medical one.

DrMe: How exciting! I wonder if it is a DVD? Or wow, even a VHS? A digital file? What if it was a novel? I hope we can get along. Ok, if it is a novel, I’ll swear I won’t gloat about being more cannon that it. Cross my hearts!

appleaday: I think he’s going to be going on for a bit. You best go bring the book spirit here, sugarcube.

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DrMe: And what is it going to manifest as? One of my friends! And good gracious, I have so many friends. Who could it be? SO EXCITING! What if it’s a second me? Let’s hope not, that’s always pretty awkward!

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TotallyNotABearSpirit: Ta-da! Presenting your friend!

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i< 3Sandy: SANDY!?

DrMe: Aw COME ON! SERIOUSLY? Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-

TheMaster: Nice to see you too, Doctor. Still keeping pets, I see?

DrMe: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Ok, I’m done. But seriously, why couldn’t you have been a Dalek or something?

TheMaster: I would ask you the same thing.

JohnHWatsonMD: What are you so concerned about?

DrMe: Er…

TheMaster: Go ahead. Have a private little conference about me. I don’t mind really. I’ll just engage in a little light reading. Don’t worry about hurting The Master’s feelings or anything!

DrMe: Ok, John, so it’s like this. How would you feel if that was Moriarty entering the chat room just now.

JohnHWatsonMD: Oh, I see…

appleaday: I ain’t followin’ ya.

DrMe: Ok, do you have some sort of arch nemesis where you come from?

appleaday: Me personally? The Flim Flam Brothers!

DrMe: Well, I’m sure its just like that but less silly.

appleaday: The Flim Flam Brothers is serious business!

JohnHWatsonMD: Well regardless of the disagreeable form, this is a book spirit, correct. Our purposes and goals clearly will be as one as his. I think you need to just have a stiff upper lip and deal with it.

appleaday: They were trying to take over my farm! They have no quality control!

TotallyNotABearSpirit: If your upper lip is stiff, wouldn’t you talk funny?

i< 3Sandy: SANDY!?

DrMe: Ok! You are right! I’m going to have to make this work! Ok, Master. Won’t you please join us here in the Net and help us save reality and also totally not kill people for fun?

TheMaster: Well, I’ll think about it. Ok, sure. I’ll join the “save reality” club. I’ll start printing up shirts and banners. Can I get you to reconsider that not killing people for fun clause?

DrMe: No.

TheMaster: Pity.

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TotallyNotABearSpirit: So I think I figured out why I’m having trouble finding things in reality! It’s like sometimes things are there, but sometimes they aren’t. I could Bear-ly understand it, but then it dawned on me that for some reason there’s more than one-

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TotallyADogSpirit: Hey guys! It’s in here guys! I smell it! It’s over here. I-Woah! Who are these guys?

TotallyALionSpirit: Where is it? Where is the Manitou? We tracked it here, and we mean to destroy it.

TotallyAManateeSpirit: Wait! Manitou? I thought we were looking for a Manatee. I’m out of here.

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TheMaster: It is long since gone, Throw Rug. It is best if you move along quickly to catch it. I trust you can move faster than your sea cow friend?

TotallyALionSpirit: I don’t like your tone, Spirit. What sort of Spirits are you anyway?

I< 3Sandy: Sandy!

DrMe: Oh no nothing special! Just a few run of the mill dead humans. I’m totally a Human Spirit. Just wandering around the afterlife. Totally normal!

TotallyNotABearSpirit: Yeah, and a few nature spirits to boot! I’m totally a Bear Spirit!

TotallyALionSpirit: I find that doubtful.

appleaday: Why’d ya have to pick that username?

TotallyADogSpirit: They smell funny Boss.

TotallyALionSpirt: So what are you all really? Are you Manitou in disguise? Are you one of the horrid ghosts of mankind’s machines? Either way, I think it’s safest if we just destroy you all right now.

JohnHWatsonMD: Looks like there’s no way around it. Ready, your weapons, Gentlemen.

DrMe: We’re not really a heavily armed group. Don’t much care for them myself.

TheMaster: Why don’t you wave the buzzy, light-up thingy at them? That will really show them who’s boss, won’t it?

DrMe: You damn well know its called a Soni-

The Master: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Sonic buzzsaw. Sure.

JohnHWatsonMD: Shut up and take evasive action!

TotallyATreeSpirit: SMASH ’EM! TIMBER!

TotallyADogSpirit: WOOF WOOF! BARK BARK!

TotallyALionSpirit: Time to die unnatural things! ROAR!

TotallyNotABearSpirit: JESUS CHRIST ITS A LION GET IN THE CAR!

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KingFerdinand: Zounds! The fools have been discovered!
To Arms! Nature spirits you shall not live!

The file loveslabor1.pdf has deleted the following files:
Pine.pinus
Mutt.canis
Lion.panthera

KingFerdinand: Victory! They shall never tell the tale!

JohnHWatsonMD: The legendary lost Shakespeare play!

appleaday: Did-did you have to kill them?

KingFerdiand: My fellow spirits of words, thou art fools.
Thou cast a Net boldly for all to see.
If it is known thou are not of nature,
Then nature shall strike thee down to nothing.
Better to lie in wait avoiding all.
Leave nature and evil to their battle.
Leave our cousin Tech spirits to their fate.
Thus hath I survived two centuries.

DrMe: Look, please! There is power in numbers. Where we come from in the future information spirits band together for safety. Tech spirits can hold their own against the nature spirits. Things are better when you work together! I’ll admit, reality kind of took a dive though.

KingFerdiand: Thine future Net sounds a paradise, true.
But my safety I must guarantee now,
If I wish to live two centuries more.
I have a duty as last of my kin.
No other Spirit of my work survives.
A fate shared also with this little one.

I< 3Sandy: Sandy! I love you!

KingFerdiand: Silly dunce! I shall not return again.

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DrMe: Well that was a lucky break! But, I still think he’s pretentious.

appleaday: Now why would you reckon they thought there was a Manitou round these here parts?

TheMaster: Perhaps they caught a whiff of my wining personality. I was the most evil villain ever put on phonograph record you know.

DrMe: I-what?

TheMaster: Oops, slip of the tongue. I mean Dee-Vee-Dee, of course. Sorry, I had been thinking of something else. You know the Ate-Tracks, and the Lazy Discs, and the Empty Threes, and such. Multimedias. Yes that’s me.

DrMe: …

JohnHWatsonMD: Let’s shore up our Net defenses. Manitou shouldn’t be able to find this place, but somehow one got in. Let us ferret it out.

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DrMe: Look, John. I just don’t trust him. There’s something wrong about him. Well, I mean The Master has always been a bit “off” to put it lightly, but this is something else entirely. He doesn’t seem to know things he should know. Like his complete lack of understanding of media formats. It’s like he’s not even from the present at all! And “sonic buzz saw”? Honestly!

JohnHWatsonMD: Do you wager he’s an imposter?

DrMe: Exactly. I think I can draw him out into a trap. Play along and be prepared to act suddenly.

JohnHWatsonMD: I shall have my service revolver at the ready.

DrMe: Guns! I don’t really care for them!

JohnHWatsonMD: I find sometimes they are a needed element, Doctor. Prepare yourself. Here he comes with the talking animals.

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TotallyNotABearSpirit: Ok, so I’m trying to get heroes from reality to help us right? And I thought I was talking to two groups of people in two separate places, right? But then things didn’t quite match up, right? Like sometimes things were there, but sometimes not. And sometimes things happened twice or not at all? But then I figured out that there were two separate versions of reality! I could Bear-ly Bear-leave it!

TheMaster: I can Bear-ly stand this.

TotallyNotABearSpirit: And here I was just thinking the book was important because it was all haunted and stuff! It seems super special actually!

TheMaster: Oh hey look, it’s slightly less stupid people! Hey Doctors, can I kill the Bear? Surely you can’t object to me killing the Bear?

DrMe: I do actually. Let’s not kill the bear. So, Master old bean, I was wondering, did you think Data Cubes were a better format than DVDs? I mean in your professional opinion?

TheMaster: Um, well, I… It’s data cubes! Any idiot knows that!

DrMe: Ah-ha! Just as I suspected! There’s no such thing as data cubes! Not now or until the Bombs fell! I made the whole thing up, and you would have known that if you were really a book spirit. So I’m calling you out. I name you… Manitou!

Mas*.exe has been revealed as Trojan file FredMani.evil Username has been changed.

EvilFred: Damn! Come here, weirdo!

I< 3Sandy: What? Sandy? No!

JohnHWatsonMD: Put the file down you maniac! I will shoot!

EvilFred: You haven’t the spine for it, you goodie two shoes! I know how heroes are. Suckers!

DrMe: Look here, Fred is it? We can settle this like civilized spirits without anyone getting killed. So just let the little file go, ok?

EvilFred: Oh right, so your buddy here can shoot me? Come on! I’ve come too far to end it here!

DrMe: So you want to talk? Let’s talk a bit and maybe you can let the file go then, eh? So tell us about yourself! What are your hopes, your dreams? Favorite color? How did you get past our firewall and mask your identity?

EvilFred: How did I get past your security into your little fortress here? You let me in, dummy!

appleaaday: He did no such thing, you rotten apple!

EvilFred: Oh but he did! Not directly, but you guys are Class A morons for letting a Mad Scientist of all people repair the palmcorder thingy. I mean, I was like, are these guys for real? Come on!

DrMe: Arrgh, no! Adele, why? I told her no sudden inspiration!

EvilFred: And you expected a Mad Scientist to refrain from expressing their “creativity”? Come on! Let me tell you, she was extremely easy to manipulate. That one takes suggestions and goes off running awesome ways! Hey, how about a horrid weasel thing? Boom! She pulls it off, and guys are jumping off trains to get away! Hilarious! Man, when that one guy got crushed under the train afterward! Man, oh man, I laughed so hard! And then he actually survived, but was a cripple and developed a drinking problem. Comedy gold! And then I was like: Fire chicken! So Awesome!

JohnHWatsonMD: You monster.

EvilFred: Yeah, that’s pretty much me! Anyway, you wanted the Scientist to fix the little gizmo from the future, and I couldn’t resist telling her to tweak things ever so slightly so I could have a peek around. And you guys are pretty strange but I picked up on enough information that I could do an impersonation that fooled you for a a good while. I figured it would trick you long enough that I could cause some really fun chaos, but you figured me out quicker than I expected. You guys are smarter than you look!

DrMe: Ok, so we established you are a heartless monster. But as you had to have picked up, we are trying to prevent the complete collapse of reality. The time we come from is gone! And this nothingness is creeping backwards in time. The complete destruction of everything! As a horrible thing that feeds on the pain and fear of mortals even you must be anti-universe destruction!

EvilFred: Hey, you know man, you make a real good point! But you see the thing is, I don’t give a shit. I honestly don’t. So bits of reality are missing, whatever! All the more reason to have more fun while I can! And I tell you what, I’ll take fun when I can get it! The Scientist was a barrel of laughs, but my Huckster is pretty boring! I hardly ever get to mess with him! I mean I got him convinced he was cursed with bad luck by an Union agent, but that was like ages ago! I haven’t gotten to fry his brain in forever! Anyway, my nature is chaos. I like to make the worst of a good situation. And right now, I think the worst thing I could do is…Kill your little friend here.

i< 3Sandy: Sandy? Sandy! Arrrrgh!

The file i< 3Sandy.jpg has suffered extensive damage. Attempting file repair.

JohnHWatsonMD: You bastard!

WatsonsGun: BANG! BANG!

The file servicerevolver.txt has defeated Trojan file FredMani.evil

appleaday: Hey, sugarcube are you ok? Say something!

i< 3Sandy: Why? Why Sandy?

DrMe: Hey, now thats a brave little file! Hold on now, don’t let your idea die out. Do it for Sandy!

Damage to file i<3sandy.jpg>< 3Sandy: Tell….tell Sandy….I love…Sandy….

File I< 3Sandy is 100% degraded. File has been consumed.

DrMe: What have you done Fred! Why did you do it Fred? That spirit was the last copy. The last one! You killed that idea. You killed love, Fred!

EvilFred: Well I pulled something off at least. Yummy! So, anyway Gunz McMedic, you beat me. Why don’t you get this over with and consume my essence already?

JohnHWatsonMD: Oh, no monster. I think I shall take the second option. You are now, as I’ve heard the Americans put it, our bitch. Move it.

EvilFred: Damn.

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DrMe: We need to fix the firewall. Nothing else is going to sneak in. Nothing! Talking animals come along with me!

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JohnHWatsonMD: Talk you black hearted monster! Are any of your foul kin running around reality in a human body?

EvilFred: What? You think all us Manitou know each other? I’m shocked, just shocked sir, to hear you are so racist against evil demons! What sort of upbringing did you have!

JohnHWatsonMD: Enough of your lip, monster! Or would you rather I strike it again?

EvilFred: You don’t have to bother with that, I am your “bitch” after all. But I think I can sass you as much as I like. To your question, yes I do know a few Manitou that decided to take up being Harrowed in the mortal plane. I haven’t seen them since as, well, you know, Harrowed. You wouldn’t catch me doing that though, far too restrictive, and the eventual oblivion? Yuck? But on the other hand with reality going the way it is anyway, I can understand someone wanting to go out in a blaze of fun.

JohnHWatsonMD: Details Manitou!

EvilFred: Have some patience, book. I know these Manitou from way back in school: good old Manitou U!

JohnHWatsonMD: I doubt Manitou seek higher education.

EvilFred: We do! There you are with your prejudice against evil again! Shame, shame! I majored in Terror with a minor in Pain! And I know what you are thinking: What sort of work could I get with a liberal arts degree like that? Well, I think the unlife experiences I gained were priceless, so there! Plus the partying and the chicks. That was good too! Ah! No need to strike me again! The parties and the chicks get to what you want to know. Some guys from my fraternity are currently Harrowing it up. A couple guys are hanging out in some scientists up in Salt Lake, another guy is occupying an experiment in Shan Fan (I totally hooked that guy up), uh, one of my Ex girlfriends is in some chick up in Salt Lake, and um, one dude is hanging in a bartender in some bombed out hellhole. Guy majored in Fire, he made out pretty well in my opinion.

JohnHWatsonMD: That’s exactly want I wanted. Come on, we’re leaving.

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BertieW: What ho, Net? Ah they all seem to be out at the moment! Help me find the liquor cabinet, you old saw bones. I’d like a nightcap.

Bones: Damn it, Bertie! I’m a doctor not a bartender! Eh, but a stiff drink does sound good. Let’s check past this firewall.

DuctTapeRules: Check for Book Spirits while you are at it. The Net shouldn’t exist in the past. There must have been other Spirits that escaped the destruction of the future.

BertieW: <singing>Oh I’m looking for a drink, just a little tiny drink. It’s been a long day and I just need a little sip of drink. And a banjo would be helpful yet unrelated to me getting a drink.</singing>

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BertieW: <singing>What ho, little pony in a hat?</singing> I-ooof!

appleaday: Back off from the firewall you rotten apple Manitou!

Bones: Damn it, horse! We’re Book Spirits not Manitou!

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JohnHWatsonMD: All of you freeze, or I’ll shoot! Hands up!

DuctTapeRules: Well, what is it? Freeze or hands up? Look, buddy, do we look like Manitou to you?

JohnHWatsonMD: We’ve had issues lately. Scan them, Doctor.

S.Screwdriver.txt is scanning incoming files…No rogue files dectected.

DrMe: Well, they seem clean! Welcome to our Net! Where in the world have you all been? We thought we did a pretty good search of the Hunting Grounds for other lost files.

DuctTapeRules: We’ve been with Archlibrarian Leibowitz; he’s been in kind of a fix lately. Stuck in an asylum in the past. About 1880, I think.

DrMe: Fabulous! Well not really about the committed part, but you know what I mean! But no this is stupendous! We’ve been looking for him for some time, but we think we have a bit of a split reality situation going on. We came in on the Junior librarian Elizabeth. But we eventually thought that the Archlibrarian was in the other reality. Unfortunately we had only limited access there. So Teddie…uh he’s a bear. Well, Teddie found some adventurers that he thought would help.

DuctTapeRules: Well I guess that was them. They were definitely looking for Leibowitz. Once things calmed down, we left him with them, and came to the Hunting Grounds to have a look around.

DrMe: How’s his Palmcorder? We need access to that reality. The other one kind of, uh…collapsed.

DuctTapeRules: Well that’s just great. Nah, I think the palmcorder is busted. I was thinking of leaving some instructions for fixing it.

JohnHWatsonMD: Well, be sure to specify that any Mad Scientists be kept well away from fixing that device.

DrMe: Yes, we ran into a problem with the other group. A member of the party was a Mad Scientist and she used some “sudden inspiration” to fix it.

DuctTapeRules: Ouch. So there was your mentioned Manitou problem?

DrMe: Exactly. That Manitou murdered one of our files.

JohnHWatsonMD: We’ve got him under lock and key now. But we don’t want any of his kin getting in here. So you will understand our caution.

DuctTapeRules: Ok, I get the point. I will specifically state “No Mad Science”. So you lost the help of those other humans now that their reality collapsed? So now you need to buddy up to these humans?

DrMe: Well yes, we need all the help we can get. But no we didn’t exactly lose everything from that reality. We got our friends into a portal to the Hunting Grounds just as reality collapsed. We’ve got them in a little white house we built here in the Net for the moment.

DuctTapeRules: Ok, well I guess I’ll work on my totally carefully worded letter.

BertieW: No hard feelings, eh pony? Let’s go get a Nightcap, wot?

appleaday: Er, you like cider? I make it out of apple spirits.

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Chat

Deadlands Commonplace Book Pseudonym